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发表于 2008-5-26 03:12:22
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We always hear "the rules"" ]0 ^" B J2 l$ t0 N3 ]1 k6 z3 e9 [
From the female side.! W+ o7 t7 z* ?8 N
Now here are the rules from the male side.! c( d, W0 O6 H7 D
These are our rules!6 U6 r2 g( a, `0 b
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
7 J; H2 E3 \8 sON PURPOSE!
4 m0 w% L$ H5 k" k$ ?& v' i" Q( K. v1. Men ARE not mind readers.
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& N6 b, |# \6 C- P1. Learn to work the toilet seat.; R, _2 b7 g; t. @
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
4 ?; D R+ H9 [We need it up, you need it down.
% \. R; @+ Y5 {7 x2 l; g! DYou don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
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n8 \5 K0 y7 E3 J4 ^1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon0 g/ ?. \ i8 w5 p! \ B( f
or the changing of the tides.
- _, L- H" c5 V8 VLet it be.
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. a- Z( w4 A% O# \1. Shopping is NOT a sport.5 I% P6 g7 m2 s; m! u9 I
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.( x) n2 C2 z$ S( K; k9 t }6 p
, ? l: h X* i' p2 P$ g4 k1. Crying is blackmail.. e$ X ~3 q% r& y8 U! E& I
0 Q& ~; j$ q9 A3 \1 {: Q1. Ask for what you want.2 x3 h. F3 h0 C7 |: P
Let us be clear on this one:" l1 u; t, T8 X3 W$ {9 {1 {
Subtle hints do not work!% R9 j% F) N0 ]; D+ R& N* f+ z
Strong hints do not work!
1 r& C& G: F9 I2 sObvious hints do not work!
2 ^: u; m2 G T& N$ Y, }( V8 VJust say it!
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& x; O: T9 z2 Q O% G1 W5 y1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.8 ]$ P% [+ r" R) ]+ ^. J
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
: B% Z6 Z4 b+ l2 i2 wSympathy is what your girlfriends are for./ I x% [+ x; V1 X( @ e+ }; m' L
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.3 K6 x& G/ C6 B3 I% T
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.! ^3 }1 w9 F+ P& d M
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.9 V3 x: n1 R! `2 f3 ~
3 D" x) i3 W" k( h9 K5 v1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
& E! z* O& j5 }2 T4 k. sDon't ask us.6 N. ^/ D$ b2 U) `$ ], ?+ p
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one ..
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- o2 [; O0 K1 b+ N+ ]1. You can either ask us to do something$ L q A6 o; }0 j0 Z6 w h
Or tell us how you want it done.- r/ a$ A% J% _0 O! L' F
Not both.
/ P, a' d' G( K) F! p7 dIf you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.8 I/ q$ r! L, n$ H) `
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.4 Q5 m5 E- Q* s8 e. O" J8 F: N
# R( e5 `. J" }8 f7 j$ n" e3 s7 I1 E1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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5 }* k* q1 w9 e( j; r5 a& l& s% F1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.1 `5 ~; G3 Q- j2 A: X, `
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
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7 J$ r* o5 M& Z* {$ S1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.' @7 Z1 ]0 Q7 i# ?
We do that.
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.( m; S: E/ V$ F# u% |, y
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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% r) g7 M4 J0 `+ Y1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. q; a$ O0 A& ]* N" o
8 D8 C! A) h+ D. X! ` r7 |1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.8 F2 n G, x6 N L
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,- V) l% \& ]0 Z
or golf.9 Q: M" [( j- u
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1. You have enough clothes.+ x# s5 w# r% \8 A
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1. You have too many shoes.
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!2 l& b5 y* Y5 k. S! Q8 _
/ ?: j; v$ ~+ t, p) r/ z0 h2 d1. Thank you for reading this.
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p: Z# s" u$ w, XBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. |
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